Dear Songbird,
are you always on the hunt for the next best song you might write? As a songwriter, writing music can seem like digging for the gold in our souls. And what´s more exciting than coming up with the perfect lyrics and melody.
However, sometimes frustration creeps in, especially when seeing other songwriters succeeding in bringing to paper what you so wish to express.
Do you ever find yourself being envious of other writers in your community?
If so, read on, for we will look into the reasons of your envy and how to resolve it.
Admiration vs Envy
A good way to re-direct your envy towards a more productive emotion, like admiration is to look into the definition of both terms.
I guess we all agree that “admiration” can be described as a feeling of “being in awe” over someone´s talents, looks, skills or achievements of whichever kind. It is a positive feeling and one that comes with being in excitment and being fascinated with that person.
But what about envy?
People generally define “envy” as a feeling of “admiring someone for being or having something we are not or do not have, while at the same time resenting the person for it”.
That is what people generally associate with “envy”. But is that even true?
Let´s dig a little deeper.
Do we really resent the other person, and if so, why?
I came to think that really we resent ourselves for not being in the same spot as the other person. We resent ourselves for believing we can´t get to where they are and for that very reason we seeminly resent them, because they are showing us that we failed while they get the applause.
Do you find yourself feeling envious mainly about people that are close to you or also celebrities that have nothing to do with you? Do you admire people that are not in your actual “community” more that you envy them? Then you might also consider that you might feel threatened by the people in your community that make you feel envy. Why is that? Because deep down you know, that if they can get there, you should, too. We compare ouselves to the people we surround ourselves with a lot more than to people that are “further away”, that live a life “so different” from ours.
So, knowing that, let´s focus on the main issues here.
“If they can do it, so shoud you!” but….
“They made it, and you didn´t.”
If you look at those statements without any emotions attached to it, can you see the potential? How do you feel now? Can you turn your envy into admiration and be happy for the other person and get encouraged and inspired by them to go chase your dreams as well? Can you acknowledge your emotions and accept them as a challenge to go get sh…done as well? If you stop being “passive-agressive” about other people´s achievements, and instead take that “rage” to get inspired and motivated to become your own best version as well, then that is a great start. But, there´s more…
Do you operate on a scarcity mindset?
Could it be, that you suffer from a “scarcity mindset”? Do you think there´s only room for them, wherever they are? Scarcity mindset is toxic. At least in songwriting! There is so much room and demand for many songwriters in the industry. There is room for different sounds and all sorts of creativity. Envy is a learned “reaction” that is very uncalled for in songwriting. Music is a collaborative discipline. Unlike many sports games, in music it is not about winning or losing, but about cooperating. Musicians come together to create sound together and sync up their souls. If you are an envious, or say, competitive person, you will hold yourself back in the long run. Songwriting requires the courage to let go of your ego to bring out the magic. Envy and competitveness are ego-based emotions. See the problem?
The sooner you learn to let go of those self-absorbed emotions, the quicker you´ll get to the gold!
I am so curious. Have you ever caught yourself feeling envious of other songwriters´successes? Leave a comment and remember to be kind to yourself. Those feelings are normal for most of us, as we were mostly raised in competitive societies. But, you can unlearn these “dividing” belief systems and replace them with “cooperative” positive mindsets.
I believe in you!
Much love and happy Sunday
Katie
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